It is a lovely fall Friday morning and I am taking my first paid day off in many years. I almost feel scandalous sitting in the coffee shop while I sip my latte and enjoy the banter of the other patrons. For the first time in a long time, my agenda includes accomplishing things for myself. And while not glamorous, I look forward to listerning to my favorite music while washing dishes, mopping and vacuuming. With my Sammy, it is much needed.
Nothing will come close to my anticipation of this evening and spending time with a wonderful friend. I have been looking forward to enjoying a meal and a movie with someone who always makes me smile and laugh until my ribs ache. With all of the upheaval I have experienced in my life the last 15 years, I have come to truly understand the importance of friendship.
Surviving a turbulent marriage, my dad's broken neck, my mom's meningitis and just the everyday ups and downs of life as a single mom has affirmed my love for my friends. One of my most heart wrenching moments was turned around by the kindness and generosity of my friend, Kelli.
Mom had awakened from her coma and didn't recognize me. I was so happy she was awake but when she asked who I was, my heart ached because I had my mom yet I didn't. I was racked with sobs on the drive home from Grand Rapids. My mom didn't know who I was and I was returning to an empty house. It was that night that I was supposed to be reunited with a man I deeply loved. He again was not making the trip north for one reason or another, all I knew is that I was again being let down.
I messaged Kelli and despite having worked a long Friday, she made the time to meet me for a drink. As always, she hugged me, expressed her sympathy and tipped a few back. She is the truest kind of friend and I've been convinced more than once that she is an angel in disguise. It was at that very painful moment that I realized that I was never without love. I had spent so much time and energy longing for the love I wanted, that I failed to recognize that I always had the love I needed.
I still long for that lifetime love, that man who holds my hand until my last breath but I can always be assured that I am loved and I have much to give. Social media has been a bombardment of negativity with the government shut down and just people who have a bleak outlook on life. I started to succumb to the mentality of "misery loves company" but I made a conscious decision to reflect back on those moments in my life where I was reminded that life is bigger than double talking politicians and others who generally fail to embrace life for the blessing it is.
Get out, lift your face to the sun and allow its warmth to soak into skin and form a smile on your face. Take a moment to share that smile and a kind word with a stranger, not only will it lift their spirits but yours as well.
