I am ever so grateful that I have a job that allows me to meet fascinating people who invite me into their private world and bless me with the honor of telling one of the many stories that make up a life. With that being said, I have truly missed writing for myself, plunking out the words that whirl around in my brain on a constant basis.
For the last few months I have been trying to adjust to new surroundings, a new schedule and a different way to go about living life. In that time, I have learned that I am better at managing money than I thought I was, I have learned that my kids are highly entertaining and at times emotionally and physically exhausting. I have learned that I have some amazing friends and family and that I have some friends who aren't as good as I thought.
I have also learned that I have a history of repeating mistakes. Rather than the tried and true method of learning through mistakes, I seem to just make them over and over. I have also discovered that I have some deep seeded need to be comforted and feel safe. On this path of discovery I have accepted that I cannot decipher all of this mystery on my own and then figure out how to move forward and perhaps stop the cycle that has plagued me for years.
The good part of this self examination is that I recognize that I need work but I can also see the good in me. I know that I am doing the best I can at raising my children. I know that I have developed a better relationship with my mom and I better understand why she did some of the things she did when I was a child. I know that I am kind and have been blessed with the ability to make people feel at ease.
In the meantime, I will return to having the wonderful opportunity to meet people who add interest to my daily life. I will continue to find ways to grow closer to my boys and take life one step and day at a time.
